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zg_shadows2009-02-03 05:41 pm
lanfykins.livejournal.com) wrote in zg_shadows2009-02-03 05:41 pm
Entry tags:
You can't be everywhere.
Three houses down in this street. They're digging through the rubble with their bare hands. I can see them bleeding. I'm not going to stop them. This is something they have to do.
He can't shift that section of wall on his own. As he heaves I slip under his arm and brace it with my back. I can feel my muscles tear with the effort, and then it goes over and he's kneeling by the broken body we've cleared.
I feel lightheaded for a moment as I straighten, then I shake it off and drop to kneel on her other side. She's just a vague shape outlined in grey and red, dirt and blood. Then her eyes flicker and a hand creeps over her stomach, and he cries, and I understand, just as I understand that she's not going to live.
How long? I'm not a doctor. I need Mark here. How long have I got? But the only one here is me, so I send up a prayer and I get up again and I make the circle and I mutter under my breath, and if I stumble over the words this isn't going to work, but if I'm too slow she's dead anyway, so I say it as fast as I can.
With one hand I trace a sign in the dirt on her forehead, quickly, before his hand can bat mine away. My other hand fumbles to undo the cap on the bottle and I gulp it down quickly, feeling it burn my throat, and as he reaches down to wipe the mark away I take her hand and force the burning into her.
She screams.
He hits me, and something goes crunch in my cheek. I'm flung back against the tumbled concrete and my ears ring as the world blotches in front of me, but I hang onto her hand until I feel it twitch in mine. Then I try to let go, but my fingers don't seem to be working properly. And then I'm looking up at the flames reflected from the clouds instead of streetlights, and everything feels cold.
I manage to get to my knees. There's nobody else here. I must've passed out. For how long? Too long. I did too much damage to myself, channeling the power. I need to... and then I realise I can still hear the screams.
I'm standing at a street corner, staring at a sign I can't seem to read. Black shapes of people are silhouetted against fire; I can feel the warmth of someone's arm under my hand and I can hear my mouth saying soothing words I can't understand. I'm kneeling over someone with a rag pressed desperately against their belly and my arms are red to the elbows. My fingernails splinter against brick and I cough the dust out of my lungs, and I can't remember why it is I'm digging.
I'm standing in the middle of the street, staring at the rubble on the other side, and I know I can't keep on like this. Daniel's going to kill me for not taking myself what I keep giving to others. There's still a single flask in my pocket, and it gets as far as my lips before I realise that the shapes I'm staring at are bodies, and one of them's still moving. I fling myself down to pour my last healing tonic between blueing lips, and then I grab the lamppost for support as the world lurches when I'm getting back to my feet. There's more supplies at Biers. If I get to Biers I can...
There's wood under my cheek. I press my hands to the floor, start to push myself up, and someone else's hand on my shoulder effortlessly holds me down.
"You're in no state to go anywhere, Rae," says Mhairie's voice. Which means at least I got as far as Biers before I collapsed. And if I got as far as Biers, then I can...
"I have to," I mumble, my jaw hurting as I speak.
"You've done enough."
"No. I haven't." And there is the heat of tears starting in my eyes at the horror outside, those dying even now because there's a whole world out there, and only so much one person can do.
"Well, then you've done all you can." Her voice is acerbic, but her hand is gentle on my shoulder. "Even you can't help anyone if you're dead, which is what you'll be if you go back out there tonight. So stay with us, Rae. Please." And she's right, goddammit, and more than that I can hear the tremble in her voice that she's desperately trying to hide.
"OK," I whisper, and the world goes black.
(Still a bit of a work in progress, so comments/ suggestions welcome)
He can't shift that section of wall on his own. As he heaves I slip under his arm and brace it with my back. I can feel my muscles tear with the effort, and then it goes over and he's kneeling by the broken body we've cleared.
I feel lightheaded for a moment as I straighten, then I shake it off and drop to kneel on her other side. She's just a vague shape outlined in grey and red, dirt and blood. Then her eyes flicker and a hand creeps over her stomach, and he cries, and I understand, just as I understand that she's not going to live.
How long? I'm not a doctor. I need Mark here. How long have I got? But the only one here is me, so I send up a prayer and I get up again and I make the circle and I mutter under my breath, and if I stumble over the words this isn't going to work, but if I'm too slow she's dead anyway, so I say it as fast as I can.
With one hand I trace a sign in the dirt on her forehead, quickly, before his hand can bat mine away. My other hand fumbles to undo the cap on the bottle and I gulp it down quickly, feeling it burn my throat, and as he reaches down to wipe the mark away I take her hand and force the burning into her.
She screams.
He hits me, and something goes crunch in my cheek. I'm flung back against the tumbled concrete and my ears ring as the world blotches in front of me, but I hang onto her hand until I feel it twitch in mine. Then I try to let go, but my fingers don't seem to be working properly. And then I'm looking up at the flames reflected from the clouds instead of streetlights, and everything feels cold.
I manage to get to my knees. There's nobody else here. I must've passed out. For how long? Too long. I did too much damage to myself, channeling the power. I need to... and then I realise I can still hear the screams.
I'm standing at a street corner, staring at a sign I can't seem to read. Black shapes of people are silhouetted against fire; I can feel the warmth of someone's arm under my hand and I can hear my mouth saying soothing words I can't understand. I'm kneeling over someone with a rag pressed desperately against their belly and my arms are red to the elbows. My fingernails splinter against brick and I cough the dust out of my lungs, and I can't remember why it is I'm digging.
I'm standing in the middle of the street, staring at the rubble on the other side, and I know I can't keep on like this. Daniel's going to kill me for not taking myself what I keep giving to others. There's still a single flask in my pocket, and it gets as far as my lips before I realise that the shapes I'm staring at are bodies, and one of them's still moving. I fling myself down to pour my last healing tonic between blueing lips, and then I grab the lamppost for support as the world lurches when I'm getting back to my feet. There's more supplies at Biers. If I get to Biers I can...
There's wood under my cheek. I press my hands to the floor, start to push myself up, and someone else's hand on my shoulder effortlessly holds me down.
"You're in no state to go anywhere, Rae," says Mhairie's voice. Which means at least I got as far as Biers before I collapsed. And if I got as far as Biers, then I can...
"I have to," I mumble, my jaw hurting as I speak.
"You've done enough."
"No. I haven't." And there is the heat of tears starting in my eyes at the horror outside, those dying even now because there's a whole world out there, and only so much one person can do.
"Well, then you've done all you can." Her voice is acerbic, but her hand is gentle on my shoulder. "Even you can't help anyone if you're dead, which is what you'll be if you go back out there tonight. So stay with us, Rae. Please." And she's right, goddammit, and more than that I can hear the tremble in her voice that she's desperately trying to hide.
"OK," I whisper, and the world goes black.
(Still a bit of a work in progress, so comments/ suggestions welcome)