zg_shadows | Jules Tat - No more neverland (Reply)

"At some point soon you're going to have to choose." "Tell him and let him make his own decisions." "Listen to the blood."

It was all good advice; it was all hard advice. I still can't believe I told a stranger so much about myself - stuff I hadn't even let myself admit let alone anyone else. So I listened to the blood and I told him everything and he was just like he always is - there: not judging, not telling me what I should and shouldn't do, just there when I need him the most. I felt... safe, safe and welcome and warm in a way I haven't done since I was very young. For a little while I could let down my defenses. And I realised right there and then that I wanted to make him feel that way too: to take the sadness out of his eyes for a short time.

I wasn't completely wrong when I told Alex it was complicated - it is complicated. Too many people have an interest in what happens to both of us for it to be simple. There's Meg for a start, I didn't see her at all after the rapture and I don't know what she thinks about it all. I'm worried I've messed it all up for them. I'd never forgive myself: whatever she may be like she made him happy and that's way more important than my feelings. I can live without him, I have done so far (who am I trying to kid?). At least - I can exist without being his significant other.

Time to be honest with everyone I think. The 'kin are going to work it out sooner or later so it might as well be on my terms. The garou are going to be angry, except Kayd who's going to be disappointed and hurt. Should have thought of that earlier shouldn't I. At least they'll know. Time to grow up Jules. Time to take responsibility.