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zg_shadows"There are ONLY murderers in this room. Open your eyes, this is the life we chose, the life we lead and there is only one guarantee - none of us will see heaven!" - "Road to Perdition"
Lucien stared at his reflection in the mirror and slowly, methodically shaved the stubble from under his chin. The razor glinted in the light of the sun and, for a second he remembered another place and a warmer sun, a time of hopes and dreams and the promise of happiness. But those dreams were just dreams and like all things they just faded and died. Until today, he told himself, today we make the peace
From the downstairs flat came the tinny sound of a radio being tuned in and then he heard the song and, silently, he mouthed the lyrics to himself “
“I believe that somewhere in the darkest night,
A candle glows.
I believe for everyone who goes astray,
Someone will come to show the way.
I believe,
I believe.
I believe above the storm the smallest prayer,
Will still be heard.
I believe that someone in the great somewhere,
Hears every word”.
Lucien stared into the mirror and those cold brown eyes and silently asked himself “But is there? Do I? Or have I just fooled myself for all these years. Have I done all that I did just for an illusion, all those deaths for a lie that I told myself”.
He remembered them all – Muslim, Jew and Gentile, all those faces over all those years, all those eyes who’s last agonised image had been of Lucien Faoud and he silently prayed for their forgiveness.
But today he would restore the balance for all that, today they would stop the killing and there would be peace. Peace and no pain. After today there would be no slaughter of the innocents by the monsters anymore. No lonely painful deaths for those he cared for and he truly, truly cared for them all.
Today the “bubble” that Caspian had worked so hard to create would expand to cover all of the city and the butchery here would cease. Because of their actions today no-one here would ever have to die.
He silently washed the foam from the blade and, locking eyes with himself again, scratched the blade against his cheek. The music had changed to the distinctive sound of Frankie Laine’s “Gunfight at the OK Corral”. Lucien remembered, with a smile, taking Fabien to see the film when it first played in Beirut and remembered how the boy had loved it.
“Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin',
On this, our wedding day.
Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin',
Wait; wait alone.
I do not know what fate awaits me.
I only know I must be brave”.
He sighed – yes today they would have to be brave. Because today they would bring them all here - to this little bit of 1957 and today they were going to put things to rights.
The mages who had forgotten their duty to watch over the sleepers, who now murdered those in their care on a whim and without a care,
The walking dead, denied the rest that was promised to us all would indeed live again, good productive lives freed from the bondage of their damned state,
Even the shifters, closest to nature, would find their peace here today
And Michael, the monster who had led them all to this place by his trail of slaughter - he too would sleep in perpetuity and, above all, the sleepers would live.
Never would they face the misery of loss – every day would be pain free. By their actions today there would never be the repeated decimations of this city- because there would be no killers to initiate the butchery.
Lucien wiped the last flecks of soap from his face with the flannel and turning from the mirror he slowly, methodically dressed as the song trailed to it’s familiar chorus
”Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin':
You made that promise as a bride.
Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin'.
Although you're grievin', don't think of leavin',
Now that I need you by my side”.
And I do, my love, I will need you both with me today – whatever the result and if we fail then maybe that “someone in the great somewhere” would forgive what I cannot forgive myself and let me see you both again and by doing that, grant me peace.
Be with me please, my loves, and give me your strength for I go to my last battle for a better cause than ever I did before.
Outside the clock in the Churchtower tolled the three quarter hour and automatically he checked his wristwatch.
Caspian had said that they would all arrive at Midday.
He took a last look at the modest bedsit then, pulling the door closed behind him, he went to meet his "comrades" for the last time.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Those that I fight I do not hate”
from “An Irish Airman Foresees His Death” by W.B. Yeats
Lucien stared at his reflection in the mirror and slowly, methodically shaved the stubble from under his chin. The razor glinted in the light of the sun and, for a second he remembered another place and a warmer sun, a time of hopes and dreams and the promise of happiness. But those dreams were just dreams and like all things they just faded and died. Until today, he told himself, today we make the peace
From the downstairs flat came the tinny sound of a radio being tuned in and then he heard the song and, silently, he mouthed the lyrics to himself “
“I believe that somewhere in the darkest night,
A candle glows.
I believe for everyone who goes astray,
Someone will come to show the way.
I believe,
I believe.
I believe above the storm the smallest prayer,
Will still be heard.
I believe that someone in the great somewhere,
Hears every word”.
Lucien stared into the mirror and those cold brown eyes and silently asked himself “But is there? Do I? Or have I just fooled myself for all these years. Have I done all that I did just for an illusion, all those deaths for a lie that I told myself”.
He remembered them all – Muslim, Jew and Gentile, all those faces over all those years, all those eyes who’s last agonised image had been of Lucien Faoud and he silently prayed for their forgiveness.
But today he would restore the balance for all that, today they would stop the killing and there would be peace. Peace and no pain. After today there would be no slaughter of the innocents by the monsters anymore. No lonely painful deaths for those he cared for and he truly, truly cared for them all.
Today the “bubble” that Caspian had worked so hard to create would expand to cover all of the city and the butchery here would cease. Because of their actions today no-one here would ever have to die.
He silently washed the foam from the blade and, locking eyes with himself again, scratched the blade against his cheek. The music had changed to the distinctive sound of Frankie Laine’s “Gunfight at the OK Corral”. Lucien remembered, with a smile, taking Fabien to see the film when it first played in Beirut and remembered how the boy had loved it.
“Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin',
On this, our wedding day.
Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin',
Wait; wait alone.
I do not know what fate awaits me.
I only know I must be brave”.
He sighed – yes today they would have to be brave. Because today they would bring them all here - to this little bit of 1957 and today they were going to put things to rights.
The mages who had forgotten their duty to watch over the sleepers, who now murdered those in their care on a whim and without a care,
The walking dead, denied the rest that was promised to us all would indeed live again, good productive lives freed from the bondage of their damned state,
Even the shifters, closest to nature, would find their peace here today
And Michael, the monster who had led them all to this place by his trail of slaughter - he too would sleep in perpetuity and, above all, the sleepers would live.
Never would they face the misery of loss – every day would be pain free. By their actions today there would never be the repeated decimations of this city- because there would be no killers to initiate the butchery.
Lucien wiped the last flecks of soap from his face with the flannel and turning from the mirror he slowly, methodically dressed as the song trailed to it’s familiar chorus
”Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin':
You made that promise as a bride.
Do not forsake me, oh, my darlin'.
Although you're grievin', don't think of leavin',
Now that I need you by my side”.
And I do, my love, I will need you both with me today – whatever the result and if we fail then maybe that “someone in the great somewhere” would forgive what I cannot forgive myself and let me see you both again and by doing that, grant me peace.
Be with me please, my loves, and give me your strength for I go to my last battle for a better cause than ever I did before.
Outside the clock in the Churchtower tolled the three quarter hour and automatically he checked his wristwatch.
Caspian had said that they would all arrive at Midday.
He took a last look at the modest bedsit then, pulling the door closed behind him, he went to meet his "comrades" for the last time.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Those that I fight I do not hate”
from “An Irish Airman Foresees His Death” by W.B. Yeats
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