zg_shadows | Oh, why not...

This is something I sent to

annwfyn, after she asked for prose about her characters, the other day. I wasn't going to post it up here originally, but I've changed my mind.

It's set earlier this week, before the games, and the bombs around London.

The clock says it's a little before five in the morning when Michael Stands-Ready stirs. Beside him, Meg doesn't even notice as he eases himself out of bed, steps sideways, and runs off to the North, dropping to wolf form as he goes.

A couple of minutes hard running later, he emerges near the Caern, howling his greeting to Helios as the Sun clears the horizon, peeking through the clouds. His morning ritual complete, the horned wolf padded into the Caern, yawning. It only seemed like it was a few hours ago he'd gone to sleep, Michael mused as he wandered the Caern. Probably because it had been. But then, there weren't too many better reasons to be short of sleep, he thought with a smile.

Rounds done, and defences checked, Michael headed for home, and the hope of more sleep. The run home is easier, less urgent, than the dash to the Caern, and this early in the morning, Michael is glad of that. Anything to make life easier on this little sleep is always going to be a good thing, he thinks.

Home again, he turns back to Homid, leaning in his own bedroom doorway, the breeze from the open window cool on his skin as he watches for a minute or two. Meg's dark hair is splayed out across the pillow, the pointed tip of one ear visible as she lies on her side, fast asleep, nested completely in the duvet.

"I still can't believe my luck" he mutters, half to himself, and half to his sleeping girlfriend. "Every time I wake up, every time I come back, and you're still here, I have to stop, and remind myself that I'm not dreaming. That it's all real." He smiles, and shakes his head, then slides onto the bed, beginning the careful process of getting some duvet without waking up the girl next to him.

Hours pass, and eventually, he wakes for the second time that morning, and smiles, as he finds she’s still there, and still asleep, resting her head on his chest, and his thoughts turn to her, as they have done a lot recently. Breathing in, he takes in the scent of her – chocolate, fruit & flowers, all at once, and thinks back.

Biers, at the end of August, and meeting her for the first time. We’d just gone off to that Umbral Realm, to help the Mummies out the first time, and Tolly had suggested going to this pub he knew. And she’d been there. She’d come over, and we talked, and we’d just talked. Not Garou stuff, not anything important, just small talk. And for the first time in a long time, I’d relaxed.

Up at the Caern, a few weeks later. A bright, sunny day, Helios’ favour shining down on me as he took Alpha from Allan. There were so many memories of her from that day. Meeting her outside the Caern, talking to her about her shoulder. How I didn’t like of the idea of her paying for healing with sex, then how good it felt to sit through the Moot with an arm round her. The support she’d given me, without even knowing. Meg, on her knees, that impish look on her face, and the sparkle in her eyes as she teasingly said my name. Going for a walk, and having a worried-looking Tolly & Greyfur come looking for us. Spending the night together, talking…

Our first time. My first time…

Coming back from Bodmin, and seeing her at Kew, with the bird made with all those feathers. Lighting all the candles in the room with a thought, just to see her face light up. Giving her the necklace he hadn’t seen her wear since she came back.

How confused she’d looked when I said I wanted to spend time with her, not just in bed, but just spending time together.

Another couple of weeks later. Devil’s Night, and the night spent with her at Kew. That sinking feeling that I was about to lose her, after her shoulder stopped bleeding, and realising just how bad that felt. Then, the following night, and saying “I love you” for the first time, and meaning it.

Arguments. So many arguments about paying for things, about the Geas she lives under, and about deals that I still can’t make for the life of me.

The stories we told each other about our lives, growing up, and all the silly things. And then, her leaving for Ireland.

Finding the butterfly pinned to my door when she came back, and her voice when she told me she’d missed me. The fairy cakes she made that night, and the look on her face as she slowly cheered up. Taking things one day at a time…

One of the first times she’d really opened up to me. She’d turned up with a silly-looking hat, and some little dolls, and got me to tell her all my problems, then told me hers. It still meant so much, that she’d actually started to talk about her worries, her problems, rather than just avoiding everything, and just dealing with everything by hoping it’ll go away in the end.

How much it hurt her to know I was in love with Jules, even when I wouldn’t admit it to myself.

For a moment, he lingers on a couple of unpleasant memories, but he forces them away. Meg had helped him deal with them, no matter how much they’d hurt him, but he now knew how much it had hurt her.

The argument in the subway. Both of us too stubborn to back down, even though it was destroying us both. How cold she’d looked, and how much he wanted to take her in his arms, and just keep her warm. The burning feeling on the side of my face where she hit me.

Hearing her voice again, weeks down the line, on the end of the phone, asking, hoping, that I’d come and help Petra. My heart in my mouth, and not knowing what to say, how to act, what to do. Not knowing what I wanted to do. Realising just how much I’d missed her, and then, that night seeing her in Max Shrier’s lap, and turning away. Wishing I hadn’t seen it, wishing it wasn’t happening, knowing that it shouldn’t be any of my business if she’s with someone else. And then, Jamie telling me the truth behind what was going on.

Somehow, plucking up the courage to go talk to her. And the whole chain of events leading up to this moment. Leading up to this… Leading up to us.

He smiles again, and kisses the top of her head.

“You are, without a doubt, the most infuriating, annoying, independent, stubborn and wilfully avoidant person I have ever met.” He thinks at her, amused. “You hardly ever take anything seriously, no matter how bad it might be. It’s so… refreshing. Such a change from everyone I deal with, every day. Yes, sometimes it’s so annoying I want to shout at you, and get you to pay attention to what’s really happening, but it’s one of the things I love most about you. You’re like a breath of fresh air, when everything around is stale and serious. I love that you don’t need me, your independence, and the fact that around you, I can just be Michael. I don’t have to be the Alpha, I can just be me.”

“I don’t know if you realise it, but you’ve been so much support to me. When I’m with you, my other problems melt away, and because of the way you are, I can relax when I’m with you. I can just try to stop worrying for a while, and get distracted by you, and that means so much…”

“I don’t understand you. I don’t think I ever will get how your mind works . You’re the only person I know who can regularly leave me speechless, without even trying. I hate the Geas, though. Making everything this system of checks and balances just feels wrong to me, and some days, I have no idea how to deal with it. Sometimes, I can see you adding up what the things you do, or the things someone does for you, are worth, and I hate that. And I’m sure you must, too, but I know you’d never admit to it. I wish that it could be different, that the Geas would go away, but you wouldn’t be you without it, we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for it, and I’d never have fallen for you if you weren’t just the way you are.”

“And I do love you.” She stirs, and he realises he said the last part out loud.

“Wha...?” Blearily, she looks up at him, eyes still clouded with sleep, and he draws her close, kissing her before she wakes up properly.

“Nothing you don’t already know…” he says with a grin, then kisses her again, and pulls the covers up around them.

There will probably be something else tomorrow.