Walking away.
Jul. 9th, 2007 07:02 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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"You want to know Edward? Then fine, Edward-Rhya. F**k you too. I'll tell you".
"It goes like this...
"I walked out on them because I cannot stick it one more time. I promised Falcon I would not challenge for position, but I can only shit on honour so long. You'd know all about shitting on your honour for the greater good though, wouldn't you?
"You set for the rant mate? Right, then, here we go.
"I walked out because my Sept Alpha lied to my face about breaking the litany in front of a whole sept. "I never let a mage on the caern" the man says. The damn mage walked straight to me and Petra afterwards, telling us how he was escorted to bleed his blood on the caern in some mockery of the Rite of Contrition. But no, the sept alpha would never do that.
"Your little cousin tried to stare me down because I told them the truth - it is not glorious to die getting your kind killed because you cannot remember the first bit of a simple plan your Warleader set you.
"Dumb is not glorious. Fighting for Gaia to your last breath is glorious. Managing to die stupidly killing your brothers is not. Admittedly sometimes how you die can be, and gaia help me, Paul and Lex died well. But...
"Dying is not the grand fucking slam. Every time one of them turned round and piously said "at least they all died gloriously." I wanted to kill them. Why did they die gloriously?
"Tell me Edward...
"I know. 'Because they were doing Gaia's will on a Rite to Gaia.' Fair enough.
"Paul, I will miss. Lex, I will miss. They were people I was leading. But why did they die? It was not because Gaia willed it. It was not because their time had come because, trust me, I checked, but because this Sept always thinks it knows better than anyone else.
"'Stay in line and fight together so the weaker ones at the back can support.'
"Sorry what?
"Oh 'haze of battle'...
"No mate we hadn't even joined the battle. We were running in when the whole left flank decided it had a better idea, and ran off. Then the cub and the fosterns were left to hold the line,
"Yeah it could have been a mistake, but then, before we went in I gave them the plan. Then they decided to check it with the lupus on his Rite of Passage while i briefed the scouts, and let him give his tactical choices over mine."
"Why am I f**cking surprised it shot them in the head?"
"Is that all...? Like it shouldn't be enough?
"You know, I can still see the shock on everyones face when I said they may not all have died gloriously. It kicked their safeties, their conceptions this was a good day, a good rite that they could comfortably mourn. It was a rite that they brought the Undying along on as well. I mean, is the veil just used for toilet paper here? So they knew we were garou. Do they get to take part in the rites now? Should I be inviting them over for silver record lessons?
"The thing is, it was the right choice. They saved lives. But to bring them, to turn round and say 'no Gaia. I know this is one of your great rites and you have chosen your sacrifice but, well, we think you're wrong and we can't actually do the rite oursleves. Let's just pick up a few extras. You won't mind will you?'
"For better or worse, a Sept is a reflection of its leaders and Falcon bound me not to change them.
"There is an alpha who has broken the territory of the Eldest Ahroun and Warleader of the Fianna and won't even challenge him for it. He is my friend. Gaia damn me for it, I love the guy and I will kill anyone who touches him without reason, but I can't take this shit anymore.
"And I will not just choose a new Sept like the boy says. I will continue to fight in London - I may have been the only one to actually lift a weapon againsty the Spirals or the Fomori in London in the last 4 months so I think I'll stay.
"No, that's unfair. Last month the sept as a whole ran in screaming at some vampires and freed the Nephrack we just got rid of. They do try for the Wyrm, but London is a Wyrm Pit and the numbers are endless. I guess I don't blame Mike for taking some peace in someone who cares. I wish I had the same.
"Oh, screw it! I have things to kill. Tell the king I thank him for his offer but I promised Fergal I'd stand next to him on his suicide run tonight.
"Thanks mate, but no thanks... And for the record I'm sorry about Lucas. I hope you forgive me some day."
"It goes like this...
"I walked out on them because I cannot stick it one more time. I promised Falcon I would not challenge for position, but I can only shit on honour so long. You'd know all about shitting on your honour for the greater good though, wouldn't you?
"You set for the rant mate? Right, then, here we go.
"I walked out because my Sept Alpha lied to my face about breaking the litany in front of a whole sept. "I never let a mage on the caern" the man says. The damn mage walked straight to me and Petra afterwards, telling us how he was escorted to bleed his blood on the caern in some mockery of the Rite of Contrition. But no, the sept alpha would never do that.
"Your little cousin tried to stare me down because I told them the truth - it is not glorious to die getting your kind killed because you cannot remember the first bit of a simple plan your Warleader set you.
"Dumb is not glorious. Fighting for Gaia to your last breath is glorious. Managing to die stupidly killing your brothers is not. Admittedly sometimes how you die can be, and gaia help me, Paul and Lex died well. But...
"Dying is not the grand fucking slam. Every time one of them turned round and piously said "at least they all died gloriously." I wanted to kill them. Why did they die gloriously?
"Tell me Edward...
"I know. 'Because they were doing Gaia's will on a Rite to Gaia.' Fair enough.
"Paul, I will miss. Lex, I will miss. They were people I was leading. But why did they die? It was not because Gaia willed it. It was not because their time had come because, trust me, I checked, but because this Sept always thinks it knows better than anyone else.
"'Stay in line and fight together so the weaker ones at the back can support.'
"Sorry what?
"Oh 'haze of battle'...
"No mate we hadn't even joined the battle. We were running in when the whole left flank decided it had a better idea, and ran off. Then the cub and the fosterns were left to hold the line,
"Yeah it could have been a mistake, but then, before we went in I gave them the plan. Then they decided to check it with the lupus on his Rite of Passage while i briefed the scouts, and let him give his tactical choices over mine."
"Why am I f**cking surprised it shot them in the head?"
"Is that all...? Like it shouldn't be enough?
"You know, I can still see the shock on everyones face when I said they may not all have died gloriously. It kicked their safeties, their conceptions this was a good day, a good rite that they could comfortably mourn. It was a rite that they brought the Undying along on as well. I mean, is the veil just used for toilet paper here? So they knew we were garou. Do they get to take part in the rites now? Should I be inviting them over for silver record lessons?
"The thing is, it was the right choice. They saved lives. But to bring them, to turn round and say 'no Gaia. I know this is one of your great rites and you have chosen your sacrifice but, well, we think you're wrong and we can't actually do the rite oursleves. Let's just pick up a few extras. You won't mind will you?'
"For better or worse, a Sept is a reflection of its leaders and Falcon bound me not to change them.
"There is an alpha who has broken the territory of the Eldest Ahroun and Warleader of the Fianna and won't even challenge him for it. He is my friend. Gaia damn me for it, I love the guy and I will kill anyone who touches him without reason, but I can't take this shit anymore.
"And I will not just choose a new Sept like the boy says. I will continue to fight in London - I may have been the only one to actually lift a weapon againsty the Spirals or the Fomori in London in the last 4 months so I think I'll stay.
"No, that's unfair. Last month the sept as a whole ran in screaming at some vampires and freed the Nephrack we just got rid of. They do try for the Wyrm, but London is a Wyrm Pit and the numbers are endless. I guess I don't blame Mike for taking some peace in someone who cares. I wish I had the same.
"Oh, screw it! I have things to kill. Tell the king I thank him for his offer but I promised Fergal I'd stand next to him on his suicide run tonight.
"Thanks mate, but no thanks... And for the record I'm sorry about Lucas. I hope you forgive me some day."
no subject
Date: 2007-07-10 02:35 pm (UTC)I reckon the right flank was the one that got worst hammered, actually; we had the Nephwrack hitting us from straight ahead, the Crescendos from the spectres on the left flank, and four other spectres all to ourselves.
I think it's quite telling that two of the dead were on the right flank, and that would have been five if Patches hadn't withdrawn and Katrina and, err, Paul's Strider hadn't been damn lucky on the last couple of tests.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-10 02:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-29 12:41 am (UTC)Though I suspect things would have really helped if a) I'd remembered that the plan was to incapacitate & not kill, Falling Touch would have made a HUGE difference and b) Thank you King of Cats! :P