zg_shadows | Imogene goes out and about...

I have decided to inflict my bad writing on you again!

This is of course, Imogene:

I looked over. The girl smiled at me from across the room. She was vital andlovely in a full blush of health. Her eyes sparkled--half lidded, mouth opened perfectly, white teeth and clever tounge moving behind them. Her long, luxurious blonde (and definately dyed and cared for) hair danced around. She had to be an angel. She would understand the emptiness I felt. She could take away, and in return, I would tear a bit of her soul away...

(soul soul go away come again another day)

It wasn't fair. And she wasn't smiling at me. She was smiling at the young man, probably her boyfriend, at least her lover(or someone that wanted the job) who came out of the bathroom behind me. The music pounded; I felt it vibrating in my lifeless chest. Smoke curled around me, swirling in between bodies that pressed together in lust and desperation. Despite the crowd, I could still see her and she would be mine.

(now I want, now I want to go and play)

I watched the woman flip her hair over her shoulder and lean forward slightly. She stroked her glass and wrapped her tounge around the straw. I watched them and I saw this sad tableau: me, a pale young woman (always pale always young) sitting at a bar table with a glass of untouched water in front of me, lost in the crowd of bodies, each searching, looking, wanting each other and one another.

and was this what I was like... before...? Did I feel the same? I want to
be able to want something else but satiating the hunger...but it's not so different. The people here
are satiating a different hunger. But a hunger non the less. Eros and thanatos, that's what Freud
would say (but he was a dirty old man with a fascination for his own cigar.)

I was tired of watching the woman across the bar. It wasn't fair. Such a lovely creature shouldn't be wasted...

and you know what to do, don't you Imogene, you always know...

It was easy... I changed the flow of their minds, I soothed the passion, I took it away. I felt it flow through the cracks of their mind, dissapating in the air. The woman stopped gesturing, her lovely face blank. The man blinked slowly. I smiled slightly. One or the other would leave, and then... and then perhaps this hollow inside me would disappear...
(if that isn't false hope I don't know what else it is)
The woman stood up. She was wearing a white dress which was a little too short andpossibly a little too tight. But not tight enough for me. She was beautiful...so alive. She made her way past me. Her perfume cut through the smell of smoke for a moment and I could see her almost frozen in front of me. I saw the delicate blue veins traced against her wrist, heard the jingle of the cheap faux gold jewelry she was adorned with, saw the swing of one perfect hip...

I would have to move quickly now, before they found me or figured it out. They were always watching. They
were ruining me. My life was a shambles. That's why I was here... instead of at the office.

they are ruining me but it doesn't matter now nothing matters now but to get what I want and what I
want is (a fight) not a fight but a moment, a moment with this woman! Where I could (shouldn't
shouldn't) where I would find her and take what I wanted what I needed... a part of her (away for
ever)...

She was leaving. Going outside. I stood up, and pushed my way through the crowd. I felt their contact, could hear their hearts beat. Such transitive creatures...caught in the ecstacy of the song, the pleasure of contact. I made it through. Time seemed to move so slowly... it always did. And I felt desire . She slipped out of the heavy door. I ran, stumbled, and made it out after her. She stood next to a street light, standing in a halo of light. She was looking up at the sky, which promised rain with pregnant clouds.
and why does she stand there but for me...(but for what I did)... and it's time

I felt the first drops of rain as I walked towards her. She turned as she heard my footsteps. The spatters of rain started to come faster, pattering against the sidewalk.

"Who are you?" She asked, with dispassionate eyes.
"I am me." I smiled. It was nice to talk and make friends.
"I had to get out of there... I don't know what it was, but everything seemed so pointless."
and where do I go from here?
"Yeah, it's quite a crowd in there. Heh. I don't know why I bother some nights."
except to find a beauty like you... I shook my hair out of my eyes.
"Of course it would rain, I don't have an umbrella..." She wiped her eyes.

I couldn't leave a young woman stranded in the rain could I?
I would have to help her. help her lose some of herself.
The tube station was far, but a dark alley was near.

"Where are you headed?" I pulled a handy umbrella out of my bag and unfolded it. "It won't do
much good now, but..." I smiled. I had a friendly face.
"Just to the tube station. I don't really feel like being out any more tonight."
"I'm headed that way myself. In fact, I know a short-cut."

(see through the lie)she will believe me(please,see me for what I am, not here to
help)she wants to believe me, she wants to come...(run away, run away!)

"That would be nice. It's quite a way. I was wondering how I'd get home, I'm short on cash.
You're a yank, aren't you?"
and how simple it was sometimes. (why didn't you see through it? Why don't you run
away?)

I gave her my most winning smile.

"I guess I haven't lost my accent, though I've lived here quite a while."

I guided her towards the alleyway. It was dark, but she must have taken such short-cuts before, or she trusted me. (they always trust me, the fools. It's my fault they're dead)

I could hear her heartbeat from where I was walking beside her. The alleyway closed in, we came to a dead end. She turned towards me, and though it was dark, I could tell there was dull confusion in her eyes.

That's right, I stole her passion. Funny that.

(I have to...I must, she must be mine, I anticipated the feeling, the slakening of my thirst)

I took her hand and turned it over. I bet her eyes were hazel, or maybe blue. It's hard to tell in the dark.

I should be used to it by now.

I couldn't wait, and I bent over and touched my lips to her wrist.

"What are you...."
and my teeth seperated the skin and I felt blood spirting into me, (hit an artery there) I could see her as a young girl, crying over a broken toy, laughing with friends over a movie, sighing alone in her room felt her desire, flushed as she stickily fumbled in the back of a car, and she was moaning in pleasure and I was too, it was always like this and she was nervous for her test and angry with her friend for taking her boyfriend, and I felt her heart beat through my teeth and mouth and it was slowing down...

I licked the wound shut... (one last sigh from me or her?) And she sank to her knees. I had taken too much, and I felt flush with it, with her in my head and running through my body.

(you did it again, you stole part of her soul, it lives in the blood are you happy now?)

I stood there, looking at her, a perfect vision for anyone, kneeling in the dark alley in a wet white dress. The dress clung to her curves even more tightly and rode up her thighs. Her skin was no longer flushed but it was pale and waxen.

I had taken too much! She might die... So I ripped open my own wrist with my teeth, and held it in front of her. She latched on (taking turns, nothing new for me) sucking blood into herself.
(first you steal from her, then you damn her as you are damned...) I felt her lips quivering against my skin, her tounge moving. I pulled my wrist away from her, and she sat dazed. Drops of blood had fallen on her white dress...
(that will stain forever, it will never come out)

I stood, shocked at myself. What had I done? What was I doing? She looked up at me from the ground. She reached for me and I knelt down.

"I've... I've... never... felt anything like that... It was... amazing"

She lunged forward and embraced me. Shocked, I fell backwards, dropping the umbrella. I felt my hands woodenly go around her.

(and I know why I don't do this often and I go for blood that's been given freely and taken I have messed it up this time really what do I do what do I do what do I do?)

"Don't... don't leave me...please...What did you do, who are you?"

I couldn't just leave her there.

that would be inhuman in that part of town anyway you never know what sort of weirdos go out at night?

(People like me.)

So I took her home. There was nothing else to do.