What's the Point? [Depressive Werewolf Tat]

[adze.livejournal.com]

I came up with the plan to save the world. I organised the people who came, and pulled in every ally I could. The Nation didn't come, so I turned to those who would. I led them to Scar, in the attack on the factories. I brought Scythe to them, and I'm responsible for what the Ratkin did.

I was in charge, I lead the attack, I'm responsible for what happened. We saved the world. I saved the world.

But...

I'm responsible for millions of deaths. For the destruction of cities the world over, for the loss of lives, livliehoods and the whole way of life. The bodies I've seen on the streets are bodies I might as well have killed myself.

And for what? The world goes on. The spirits mark me an Elder. But the Nation will probably kill me for the allies they forced me to choose, and the person who was on my mind the whole time, the one who I'd have done all this for on her own, hates me now for what I've done.

So what was the point? Feels like I've lost more than I can bear. Like everything I've done was for nothing. So why try anymore?

Comments

Re: <Aken Brain>

[portilis.livejournal.com]

Only if the people you're in charge of accept your leadership and don't go off doing entirely their own thing that has nothing to do with what is being attempted.

Re: <Aken Brain>

[portilis.livejournal.com]

To put it another way - if we'd gone out, and halfway through the mission I'd turned around and killed one of those of Corruption who was assisting, would you have regarded yourself as responsible for my doing so?

The situation with Scythe taking it upon himself to change the mission parameters is exactly the same from an aspect of who is responsible.

Re: <Aken Brain>

[adze.livejournal.com]

You didn't, so I don't know.

I brought Scythe, therefore it's my fault. In my opinion, which right now is the only one that matters, I'm as guilty as he or the Ratkin are.